How we look after each other
When someone asks what happens on a modopup night, the short answer is that adults get together to play and to pass the time. The answer that matters to a building management, a neighbour, a relative or a new attendee is a different one: how the space is looked after. This dossier covers the house rules, why they exist, and who answers when something goes off plan.
- Consent is not a one-time thing
- Limits that get said and get heard
- Adults, no exceptions
- Alcohol and decisions
- Photos and faces
- The handler looks after, does not command
- What happens when someone crosses a line
- Leaving without explaining yourself
- modopup is not an organisation
- The other dossiers
Consent is not a one-time thing
Consent is the base everything else stands on. Signing a form on the way in does not cover it. It is a question asked before any touch, repeated when the play changes, and it can be withdrawn at any moment.
In a mosh, someone can say yes to playing with a ball and no to being touched on the face. They can say yes to one stroke and no to another. They can say yes at the start and change their mind five minutes later. Each of those decisions counts. The play adjusts to what the person wants now, not to what they agreed to a while ago.
Silence is not a yes. A "maybe" is not a yes. A yes given out of obligation, pressure or fear of looking awkward is not a yes either. The rule is simple: if it is not clear, ask. If the answer is not an enthusiastic and free yes, it does not happen.
This protects the person playing and the person touching. When the rules are clear, nobody has to guess. Nobody goes home wondering whether they went too far. The line gets spoken out loud and gets respected in silence.
Before each event, the responsible person goes over these rules. It is not a long talk. It is two minutes that separate a confusing space from a looked-after one.
Limits that get said and get heard
Everyone who comes to an event brings their own limits. Some people like intense physical contact. Others are happy just being close. Some do not like having their face touched. Others do not like having their mask taken off. There is no universal list of correct limits. Everyone defines their own.
Saying them is only half of it. The other half is that they get heard. "Do not touch my face" does not work if the other person answers "but it does not bother me". One person's limit does not get negotiated against another person's preferences.
At modopup, what is expected is that whoever plays says their limits clearly and that whoever hears them respects them without argument. A long explanation is not needed. "I do not like it" is enough. "I would rather not" is enough. Moving away is enough too.
Handlers help make that work. If they see someone not listening, they step in. Not to embarrass anybody, but to put the space back on an even footing. An early correction keeps a small discomfort from turning into a big problem.
The limits of the space itself also get looked after. Play happens inside the apartment or inside the space that was booked. At the front desk, in the elevators and in the hallways of the residential complex, everyone behaves as at any social gathering. The mask, the collar and the pup attitude stay inside.
Adults, no exceptions
Only adults over the age of consent enter. There are no exceptions. It makes no difference whether someone knows the responsible person, has been in other spaces before, or seems mature. The line is legal, clear and not negotiable.
The reason is not moralistic. Pup play is role play between adults that can involve physical closeness, lowered inhibitions and mental states in which a person lets their usual defences down. That can only happen between people who already have the legal maturity to decide for themselves. Mixing minors into that context would change the meaning of the whole space and make it unsafe for everyone.
The rule applies to whoever arrives. The person responsible for the night makes sure it is followed. If someone cannot show they are over the age of consent, they do not come in. There is no conversation, no personal trust that changes it, no "nearly old enough".
This also protects whoever organizes. Keeping minors out of the space means not putting anyone in a situation that could be read as harmful. The rule is hard because the cost of softening it is too high.
Alcohol and decisions
Alcohol is not the centre of a modopup night, but it can be there at a barbecue or a movie afternoon. What cannot happen is someone coming to play after having had too much to drink.
Alcohol affects the ability to decide. Someone who has been drinking can say yes to things they would not accept sober. They may not notice they are crossing a line. They may not hear a no with the clarity it needs. So the rule is plain: if you are going to play, do not drink beforehand. If you drink, do not play.
That applies to every role. A pup who has been drinking cannot consent clearly. A handler who has been drinking cannot look after anyone with the attention it takes. A responsible person who has been drinking cannot keep an eye on the space. Alcohol and play do not mix.
Keeping it under control is everyone's own business. It is also the business of the people in the space to tell someone they can no longer come into the mosh, or that they should stop playing. That correction is not aggressive. It is looking after. It is what lets everyone go home well.
Photos and faces
Privacy is one of the strictest rules. No photo or video with a recognisable face is taken or published without the written consent of the person in it. The default is that nothing gets published.
This is not a formality. Plenty of people who do pup play do not talk about it at work, at home or in their social circle. A photo that leaks can change a life. An Instagram story with a recognisable face can do damage that no "sorry" repairs. That is why the rule is this strict.
If photos are taken at an event, they are taken without visible faces. Whoever does not want to be in any image is not in it. If someone ends up in one by accident, they can ask for it to be deleted and it gets deleted. There is no discussion.
The guest list handed to the administration of the residential complex contains no aliases and no word about what the event is. Law 1581 of 2012 protects personal data, and putting a real name next to a label that describes a private activity would expose a third party. The harm would not land on us; it would land on the person who trusted us. That is why the paper only says who comes in, not who they are.
The handler looks after, does not command
The handler is the person who looks after the play. They do not own anyone. They are not in charge of the space. They are not a permanent authority. They are someone who, on that night and in that mosh, makes themselves available to keep an eye on everyone being comfortable.
A good handler asks before touching. They respect a no. They know when to step in and when to let things run. They do not use the role to get close to anyone. They do not confuse looking after with controlling.
The handler can stop the play at any moment. If they see someone is not comfortable, if they hear a no that is not being respected, or if the energy turns uncomfortable, they raise a hand and say "stop". That is not being authoritative. It is keeping the space inside the rules everyone agreed to when they came in.
There is no course for becoming a handler. You learn by watching, asking and making small mistakes. A handler who does not listen stops being a handler. And a pup who sees something odd can report it too. Looking after the space is not one person's job.
What happens when someone crosses a line
No space can promise that nothing bad will ever happen. That would be a lie. What a space can do is have a clear procedure for when something does.
If someone breaks a house rule, the person responsible for the event gives them a clear warning. If the person understands and corrects it, the event carries on. If they insist, they leave the event and come off the guest list. There is no scene, no humiliation. Only a predictable consequence.
There is one rule that takes no warning at all: whoever ignores another person's consent leaves immediately and does not come back. It makes no difference who they are, how long they have been coming, or how well liked they are. Consent is the floor. Without it, there is no space.
Anyone can report a problem. During the event you tell the responsible person or a handler. After the event you can write on WhatsApp. A report is not minimised, not mocked and not used for gossip. It is heard, looked into and acted on.
Nothing here is a threat. There is a procedure, and it is the same one every time. Knowing what happens when something goes wrong is what lets people relax. When the consequences are clear, people know where the edges are and can play more freely inside them.
Leaving without explaining yourself
Nobody is obliged to stay until the end. The night may not be for you. Something may bother you. Or you may simply have had a day when you do not want to play. It is fine to leave.
You do not have to say goodbye to everyone. You do not have to give a reason. You pick up your things, say "I am leaving" if you want and go. Good pup play does not demand that you stay. It demands that you feel all right.
If someone asks why you are going, you do not have to answer. An "I would rather go" is enough. The space has to work for you, not the other way round.
It is also fine to leave and come back another night. One bad night does not mean pup play is not for you. It can mean that on that day, in that place or with that company it was not what you needed. The door stays open whenever you want to come back.
modopup is not an organisation
modopup is not a group, a club, an association, a collective, a pack or an organised family. It is a name for certain pup play events in Bogotá. There is no membership, no fees, no board, no headquarters.
This is not a pose. It matters when we talk about who decides. If there were a formal structure behind modopup, it would be easy to say that somebody else answers for it. There is none. So the honest answer is a different one.
Each event has one responsible person. That person organizes that night: they get the place, they put the guest list together, they talk to the administration of the residential complex, they go over the rules at the start and they act if something goes off plan. When the night ends, the role ends. The person goes back to being one more attendee.
There is no team behind it taking decisions between events. There is no board reviewing reports. There is no structure going after anyone afterwards. What exists is a set of agreements everyone accepts on the way in, and one person per night who makes sure they are kept.
If someone crosses a serious line, the consequence is local: they leave that event and do not come back to the list. There is no central register, no permanent punishment, no authority that goes after them. That may sound limited, but it is exactly what we are: a name for a few nights, not an institution.
The other dossiers
Whether pup play is sexual is answered in the dossier any given night. Headspace, the team and the first event are explained in puphood. The idea of the alpha, and why we do not believe in permanent ranks, is in no alphas.